Border Patrol...SAY WHA?

                                           **This post is graphic and contains adult material**

                                                                       



Now that I got your attention..this post is about Borders. Not Mexican ones...or Canadian ones...
It is about books. Borders books.

                                           
So you have all heard that Borders is going out of bizz nass.. Oh you didnt'? Well they are. And you know what this means. CHEAP BOOKS. And an excuse for Beks to get a little cray cray. You all know how I am a somewhat of a shop-a-holic. I see going out of business sales and my heartrate goes up a little bit, I start working up a black sweat, and I can't even think clearly because of all the titles that I may or may not find in this treasure trove. You know when Hollywood Video (God rest their soul) went out of business? I went CRAZY. Jason is testament to this fact. Definitely loaded up  my shopper bags..and walked out of their bags FULL. Im talking...splitting at the seams! How can you turn down .50 movies? Um..You can't. Case closed. They are the reason why I have a katrillion DVDS that I have not seen...but just chillin in my collection. Hey, I read the backs of them..and they looked good. So what if they went straight to video? Its fine.
Side note: My friend and I watched one of these movies..**To give you an accurate portrayal of said movie** It is called, "Opie gets Laid".  The girls on the cover of the movie...are not even in the actual movie. Pretty sure, this movie cost all of a $20.00. It is ridiculous. About a guy that never leaves his house..and all of a sudden this bisexual girl comes to his door, they become friends, and have sex. Then he starts having sex with her lesbian lover too, and then she tells some other people..and it is this weird crazy sex Octagon. Sounds like it should have won an Oscar yeaH? I thought so too.

WOAH Tangent,
Anyways, Went to Borders to try and see what I could get a honey of a deal on. When I first went, I was not impressed at all. Borders was so expensive anyways..even with the start of their sale..their prices were probably a couple dollars above what...sayy...Target would sell them for. RIdiculous. You think I am going to buy something at your "going out of business sale" for more then what I could get it for at Target? Think again, David Banner. Think Again.
Anyways, so after a few weeks, I kept waiting for the prices to go down. And wait. And wait. And wait.
Finally I started to buy stuff around the 70% mark. Their magazines had crazy good prices, so what did I decide to purchase for my coffee table? Oh you know...some picture books..and dirty magazines. Yes. You did read this correctly. I did buy porn for my coffee table. Why? Because it is art. I don't care if the girls cooter is out. It is art. What evs.
I told Jason we were leaving it out for when Mom comes to visit. He didn't find that as awesome as I did. I say whatever...its just boobs and bush. Oh and Peen. I definitely had to get some peen in their too.
I was running around Borders trying to find the magazines with the most peen in them. I was excited to come home and display them proudly in my living room.
I found a few, went to the counter, definitely got IDed. HAH. Silly.
Came home, Flippin through the pages when I came upon these...

They really just crack me up. Alien boobs. For real. Is she getting signals? I am really not so sure.
But they made me laugh. Thought I would share.

Got a few other books...mostly humorous ones...like I Can haz Cheezburger, Stoned Family Robinson, Smother ( a book about a crazy mom), Shit my kids ruined, Letters from a nut, and a few others..oh and my porn. Got a few high fashion picture books too. I am excited.

So now..everytime someone comes over..and I have my dirty things out, Jason gives a disclaimer, "Just so you know...this isn't mine, this is Bekahs. Yes. She bought this. I don;t know why." Pipe down peaches, yes it is mine. And I dont' give a fuck who sees it. Grandma is comin over? Awesome..let me show you the Playboy. Page 12 has Cooter.

I don't know...maybe its just me. I just don't see anything wrong with it.
Anyways though, Sad day..I am really sad that Borders is bankrupt and going away. Although I do love the sales, it is really sad and just a sign of the times. They were in business for so long, and they just couldn't make it. Its sad..and when I was in there...just really heart wrenching to see the cafe all boarded up...and the shelves being emptied.

I will miss it, some of my fondest memories are of growing up and going to Redmond Town Center and getting Cow Chips (no longer there) and then making our way to Borders where we could listen to music upstairs, and reading the magazines downstairs. It was peaceful..and relaxing..and even though they were expensive...it was comforting.

RIP Borders. You will be missed.

Love you all times Pi.
-Your shopaholic, Book loving, friend.