Loo Comes over...take 36843

There really isn't a whole lot to this story..but a few pictures..
but on one of the nights before I left for Disneyland...My loo came over for us to drink some alcohol, and sing songs and be babes. What we do best..

Here are some pictures of the evening... and maybe a few vids?

Surprise

Loverrr my loooo

Look at my nappy ass hair

I do these things...because I am a G

Don't hate.

Butterfly Kisses..

Yep...

Love you all times Pi.

Its not Goodbye...its see you later.

                                                                          

Oh gosh.
Where do I begin...



I met one of my most beloved, dear friends down here in Oregon. We bonded over Norway, Wine and cheese, and board games. We worked together at the credit union, but he became one of my best friends. He was my concert buddy, my wine partner, fashion buddy, and trivia team captain. 
It is hard to describe what this kid means to me, and what his friendship really means to me. But, he is one of my closest friends that I could tell anything to, and I know that with him, no matter how awful it was the thing I was about to tell him..there would be no judging involved. Just honest truth..straight-forward answers.
I will miss tons of things about you kid, but most of all, I will just miss you, our funm, and your hugs and your Norwegian Face. I will of course visit you...in Japan..come next year. Obvs. Lets be honest with ourselves here. Japan will not know what hit them....2 Norskis taking Tokyo by storm? We will of course go to the abandoned theme parks, Tokyo Disney, Crazy Concerts that last weeks, and a traveling we will go!!

Hello Kitty Hotel. We are going. You can thank me later

                                                 

Anyway, before he took off, he gave me a few things to remember him by...Norwegian Swag of course.. Here are a few things..

Certified Norwegian Cheese knife. Yeah Buddy. Slicing Cheese like there is no tomorrow.

Norwegian Hat...you think I could pull off Norwegian flag pants?

I am pretty sure I will rock this on the slopes

Our last few nights that we hung out, we watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, drank wine, I made some italian dinner of some sorts, and I think I even popped his Big Lebowski Virginity.

The Dude Abides my friend.



Anyway, in short...my dear....
Nemo, Sully, and I will miss you dearly. Can't wait to see you!!
But until then...

Love you times PI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Border Patrol...SAY WHA?

                                           **This post is graphic and contains adult material**

                                                                       



Now that I got your attention..this post is about Borders. Not Mexican ones...or Canadian ones...
It is about books. Borders books.

                                           
So you have all heard that Borders is going out of bizz nass.. Oh you didnt'? Well they are. And you know what this means. CHEAP BOOKS. And an excuse for Beks to get a little cray cray. You all know how I am a somewhat of a shop-a-holic. I see going out of business sales and my heartrate goes up a little bit, I start working up a black sweat, and I can't even think clearly because of all the titles that I may or may not find in this treasure trove. You know when Hollywood Video (God rest their soul) went out of business? I went CRAZY. Jason is testament to this fact. Definitely loaded up  my shopper bags..and walked out of their bags FULL. Im talking...splitting at the seams! How can you turn down .50 movies? Um..You can't. Case closed. They are the reason why I have a katrillion DVDS that I have not seen...but just chillin in my collection. Hey, I read the backs of them..and they looked good. So what if they went straight to video? Its fine.
Side note: My friend and I watched one of these movies..**To give you an accurate portrayal of said movie** It is called, "Opie gets Laid".  The girls on the cover of the movie...are not even in the actual movie. Pretty sure, this movie cost all of a $20.00. It is ridiculous. About a guy that never leaves his house..and all of a sudden this bisexual girl comes to his door, they become friends, and have sex. Then he starts having sex with her lesbian lover too, and then she tells some other people..and it is this weird crazy sex Octagon. Sounds like it should have won an Oscar yeaH? I thought so too.

WOAH Tangent,
Anyways, Went to Borders to try and see what I could get a honey of a deal on. When I first went, I was not impressed at all. Borders was so expensive anyways..even with the start of their sale..their prices were probably a couple dollars above what...sayy...Target would sell them for. RIdiculous. You think I am going to buy something at your "going out of business sale" for more then what I could get it for at Target? Think again, David Banner. Think Again.
Anyways, so after a few weeks, I kept waiting for the prices to go down. And wait. And wait. And wait.
Finally I started to buy stuff around the 70% mark. Their magazines had crazy good prices, so what did I decide to purchase for my coffee table? Oh you know...some picture books..and dirty magazines. Yes. You did read this correctly. I did buy porn for my coffee table. Why? Because it is art. I don't care if the girls cooter is out. It is art. What evs.
I told Jason we were leaving it out for when Mom comes to visit. He didn't find that as awesome as I did. I say whatever...its just boobs and bush. Oh and Peen. I definitely had to get some peen in their too.
I was running around Borders trying to find the magazines with the most peen in them. I was excited to come home and display them proudly in my living room.
I found a few, went to the counter, definitely got IDed. HAH. Silly.
Came home, Flippin through the pages when I came upon these...

They really just crack me up. Alien boobs. For real. Is she getting signals? I am really not so sure.
But they made me laugh. Thought I would share.

Got a few other books...mostly humorous ones...like I Can haz Cheezburger, Stoned Family Robinson, Smother ( a book about a crazy mom), Shit my kids ruined, Letters from a nut, and a few others..oh and my porn. Got a few high fashion picture books too. I am excited.

So now..everytime someone comes over..and I have my dirty things out, Jason gives a disclaimer, "Just so you know...this isn't mine, this is Bekahs. Yes. She bought this. I don;t know why." Pipe down peaches, yes it is mine. And I dont' give a fuck who sees it. Grandma is comin over? Awesome..let me show you the Playboy. Page 12 has Cooter.

I don't know...maybe its just me. I just don't see anything wrong with it.
Anyways though, Sad day..I am really sad that Borders is bankrupt and going away. Although I do love the sales, it is really sad and just a sign of the times. They were in business for so long, and they just couldn't make it. Its sad..and when I was in there...just really heart wrenching to see the cafe all boarded up...and the shelves being emptied.

I will miss it, some of my fondest memories are of growing up and going to Redmond Town Center and getting Cow Chips (no longer there) and then making our way to Borders where we could listen to music upstairs, and reading the magazines downstairs. It was peaceful..and relaxing..and even though they were expensive...it was comforting.

RIP Borders. You will be missed.

Love you all times Pi.
-Your shopaholic, Book loving, friend.



Leap Frog...and err....other subjects!

So, on August 20th, I invited my friend Lindsey over, and my other bestie Alan to have a wine and cheese filled night of fun!! The morning of I spent making tons of appetizers and things of the like for our adventures! I knew that we would have tons of wine, so cheese...obvs was one of the main choices, as well as some artichoke dip, and some mini pizzas! Since all these things go together...clearly.

It was SOoOO hot that day, probably in the mid 90's so as soon as these two came over to my casa, we headed to the river to basically get our sun on...and of course..get the party rocking going for the night. We just laid out and talked and pretty much had a good time.
I had told both Lindsey and Alan to prepare because they were both meeting their soul mate tonight. I didn't really ever see anything romantical happening with them...but they are like the same person...in a lot of ways.. They both love soccer...and wine...and...soccer....and wine? Right? See the resemblance...SOULMATES. Clearly.

Anyways, so they came over..started at the beach...unfortunately did not have any fun pics of this evening...
Oh wait..I probably did...but the motherfucker over at best buy deleted all my pictures off my camera...**Another post entirely** UGH. Anyways..I digress.
So we went to the beach...downed a few beers and Mikes...and definitely kept having to hide our little brewskis from the Po that we were CONVINCED, they were coming to lock us up. They didn't. We made the trip surprisingly.
After that, came back to my place, and just danced and laughed and talked and had a good time.

Apparently there was leap frog later on???

Vid to follow.
When my phone isn't being a jerk bagel..I shall load it for you pigeons.

Overall, fun night...Loved spending time with my Alan..and of course...my lovely Lindsey

Helloooo August!!

Hello Auggie! So glad you have arrived!
Tonight I went to the concert in the park and the Ty Curtis Band was playing.
I say that like I have been going to their shows for years...but really, this was my first experience with them. I got off worky work, and it was a GORGEOUS day, and so I decided to go to concert in the park and take Sullivan Louise. Per Usual.

So, I go there, and let me just say. This was unlike any other experience I have had before. Normally at these things the little park area is about half full, and a few kids are dancing by the stage, while their parents look on and gaze at the little monstrosities they have created.
Tonight. Oh. Man. It was crazy. You would think that Rammstein was in the house.
Yeah, they came to Indep, no bigs. The music was good, and they were just playing like classic rock. But the turnout was HUGE. The park was COMPLETELY PACKED! And on top of that, the dance floor was so crowded, and people were going crazy!! Crazy is an understatement mind you.
I was unaware that they were handing out LSD at the door. No joke.
I decided to settle in and just watch the mayhem from afar.
So I am sitting there enjoying these people and just watching them dance all crazy, and running up to the stage and throwing their hands in the lead singers face, because apparently that is what you do when you are overcome by music? Who is to know really. It was hysterical!
Well I am enjoying all this, when I take a closer gander, and what do you suppose? Oh its my old neighbors! To paint a picture of these yay whos...the mom tries to be her high school daughters best friend, dresses like her, etc, the whole enchilada. We called her Toots. Her boyfriend, whom we called Sexy. (Believe me, he wasn't but these were the pet names we overheard them calling each other one day, and couldn't resist but to of course call them that!). And then the daughter we called Tootsie Roll. For reasons unknown...probably because she was a product of Toots. Well anyway...yeah Toots and Sexy, are the craziest ones of them all. Pretty sure I saw them attempt a mosh pit. I am not even kidding you. Sexy kept going up to the stage and putting his finger in the lead singers face (yeah I am sure he loves that), and being like yeah...ROCK ON!! Haha oh gosh. You are 50...calm it down.
Well anyway, this went on for a few songs. And every time I would think he was going to relax a little bit, he was balls deep in that stage. Toots sat down for a few songs, but then came back and was grinding all over Sexy. They were seriously having a whale of a tale of a time.
I was getting exhausted from watching them to be honest.
Oh and there was a wheelchair doing Wheelies. I repeat. A wheelchair doing wheelies.
There must have been some kind of crazy drug going around that I wasn't a part of. RUDE.
Well anyways, all while this is happening, I am just kind of relaxing with Sully, and this really awkward guy comes up to me probably about 4 times. Wants to pet Sully. Sure thing.
Well then it just got creepy. He sat down RIGHTNEXTTOME. And starts talking to me about his dogs and asking me where I live. I was like ehh not too sure where I live. (I don't know why but this seemed like the best excuse at the time?)
And then he was just SUPER. AWKWARD. For instance, when he told me his name.
He was like I am George. (keep in mind this guy is like 50 and fat. Cool. Why Do I attract these men?) And as he said, "I am George" he took his hand and waved it in a half moon shape. Kind of like when people do round of applause...but he was just waving his hand. Um...excuse me? Did I miss the part where you said you were a registered sex offender, and remind me of my elementary school music teacher. Are you Mike Smithes brother? Wouldn't shock me.
Anyway, he started to really creep me out and told me I could stop by his house anytimme. No big deal. And so I just picked up my stuff and left.
Creeper.
Anyway, after that just came home, drank some wine, and went to bed.

Love you all times PI.

Felons, Felons, and more Felons, OH MY!

Soo..today, started off like any other...
I invited Loo over to have breakfast,  and then we were going to go to the beach in Salem.
She came over and we packed up our things, and just as we were loading some things in my car, we basically got swarmed by these Samoans that live in my complex.
We have crossed paths before, me and them. And it went something like this
(I am walking along with Sully)
Group of 4 hanging out, as I walk past..."Girl you pretty as fuck" Exqueeze me? What does this even mean.
Thanks?
And I move on.
The next day I see them approach again..."Girl you so pretty, you pretty as fuck"
What does this mean exactly.."Pretty as fuck"? Honestly. I am confused.
This might be a compliment? We really are not so sure.
So back to today, as I am loading things in my car, I am thinking oh boy...here we go. I Have warned loo about these men. But they start chatting us up...and the one that was most interested in her.."Gregory", gets her number, and the other one who is clearly interested in me, "Sione" just stands in the corner and just stares at me, and he even said to me...but really talking in 3rd person, "Bekah is lookin so pretty over there" Oh are you talking to me? Because you are looking at me...but talking in 3rd person. Its weird. You know that post previously where I give my number out because I feel bad. Yeah, meet Guy #2.
Anyway
We tell them, we must be going. Loo gets a text not even 30 seconds later. "Lock me in"
What does this mean? Clearly we are not well versed in Samoan.
Hm.
Anyways
So we go to the beach.
We are there for all of what like 10 minutes, when this guy comes over and really just awkwardly stands in our vicinity forEVER. I am like...dude can I help you?
He decides to put in some little input into our conversation a few times. Oh were we talking to you? No...okay then.
I go about my business, and this guy starts talking to loo, he is cute I suppose, but eh.
I am just kind of splashing around in the water, doing what I do best. And then go back up to the beach and lay out in the sun...loo is STILL talking to this guy...they talked for seriously 3 HOURS!! I am not even kidding you. Skipping rocks the whole entire time. Trust me, I have rocks in my bag from this occasion. Come to find out this guy is a felon, probably escaped from the slammer yesterday no big deal. He made up this crazy story about how he and his friend are going down to San Francisco. Apparently this friend is a girl, but they are not dating, but staying in the same hotel and bed together, but he made it clear not dating. We asked him if she knew that...he was like...umm...maybe? haha I thought she knew about it.. Good!
Apparently at some point, we asked him if we could have his facebook, he said he doesn't give it out, *this was after he asked for her number* Yeah, you dont give it out because you have 5 kids around town. I know your game. Don't even try to play me like that.
Anyway, we bid him adieu, and then stay at the beach for a wee bit longer.
Was supposed to go to a baby shower for my friend Kiffie, but completely lost track of time :( Such a bad friend!!

After that we go home and get cleaned up.
I guess Loo is texting Gregory at this point.
This is where it gets weird.
Sione starts texting me...at some point we find out that Sione sells drugs, dog fights, and apparently has bought his mother a house. Yeah, I am not buying it. He is trying to convince me...and yeah...not really having it
I told him to cancel his next dog fight, because I do not stand for that, and if he does that, he can forget about talking to me.
He said he would...but it is good money so I should let him continue. I told him that was mean.
Cool Bekah you give your number to little boys and Felons...its fine. I mean I guess this felon was 23...so that is good I guess, I am still older..but at least he is over 18...I am getting better...kind of? :)
And then Alan came over, and Loo, me, and Alan all got silly on wine (well not Loo because she doesn't drink wine).
And apparently we made videos? I shall post them, for you little monstrosities to see, because clearly that is what I do..
 But all in all, minus the felons, it was a really good night. Alan and I sang Disney songs, and we got silly.
I am going to miss that crazy mofo when he leaves.

Don't really have any pics of our felons..DAMN. And Couldn't find their mug shots. Lame.
Well...maybe some videos of the night will do us more justice...as long as you don't judge.

This one...is inappropriate.

Yes. Alan does say I can Shopen your eyes

Love you all times PI!

Slip & Slide Margarita Party! SAY WHA!?

Today is Tiffani (my co-workers) birthday! She decided that she wanted to have a slip and slide/margarita party!! How fun does that sound? Seriously. Amazeballs?
Yeah. I thought so too!
 So anyway, earlier in the day I went garage-saling. (Of Course I did)! Did not find too much...HOWEVER. I went to this one ladies house. Super awkward moment. I am warning you! So I drive by...take a looksie..decide it MIGHT look promising. Park the Yari Yari..and walk on in.
This lady...we will call her Piccalo Pete, glances my way, (does not make eye contact), and just picks up this recorder...you know the one? **Think 5th grade music class, Mr. Child Molestor Mike Smith** (Stillwater Kids know what I am talking about). Anyway, now that we are all on the same page, back to Piccalo Pete. She picks up her recorder and just starts tootin a way a little diddy on this number. She is not missin a beat. I was really confused, and thought maybe she was just trying to show off her musical instruments, and showing off what this little baby could do. Maybe she was selling it? I don't really know. Just as I thought she was done with one song, she would jump right into another little ditty. I didnt' recognize the tune, so I couldn't really sing along. I mean if it was Yankee Doodle, I would have been balls deep in that ish. But no...it was probably a song she made up herself. I didn't know what to do, so I didn't look at her, and pretended to be interested in one of the denim fanny packs she probably made herself for a bit.
I was confused as to, if she:
 A.) Wanted applause?
 B.) Wanted me to bust out in a dance?
C.) Wanted me to Twirl?
D.) Toss her a few coins? Maybe a schilling if you will?

I don't know. All I know is I high-tailed it out of there.

Then I went to another garage sale...this one was HUGE, and also looked promising.
Walked around, there was a ton of different crafting stuff and stickers, and what not.
AND...
A Giant Inflatable/Rubber Cow.
Yeah. I was thinking the same thing. SAY WHA??!
I saw it, and not even .2347984 seconds later, some crazy bitch pops out of her van, squeals in delight, and races towards this cow.
Match Made in Heaven? Its possible.
Well anyway, she was over the moon about finding this cow, and she lugged that sucker under her arm the entire span of the sale, and was gushing to the seller about how she was looking for such a thing, and how she was going to put it right in her front yard, and she would for sure take such good care of it.
EXQUEEZE ME? BAKING POWDER?
Pretty Sure I just heard you say you were going to put that sucker in your front lawn?
Wow...Oregon keeps getting Classier and Classier.
I giggled to myself, and then bought myself some old school ( I am talkin 80s) stickers of the original NKOTB. For those of you who are too young...NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK. Oh and some stickers of dogs with unicorn horns. Yeah... such finds.

Anyway, after I purchased said stickers (.10 for both!!) What a steal!!
I went home and had to start getting ready for this party!
I decided I was going to make mint cookie ice cream, and head out.
Loo and I planned on going together, but she didn't text me until late, so decided to venture out by myself.
Drove to Tiffani's house and there was prob about 10 people there at this point. My bestie Alan was there, already a little gone. No big deal.
He had brought my fav strawberry wine! Yay!
So had some wine, and just snacked a little bit on these little food gems. Then we decided to race on the slip n slides! Damn me, so concerned with the water in my face and closing my eyes, I didn't get a chance to grab the stupid flag that says you win! EFF MEE SIDEWAYS!
Well, anyways, that was fun, talked a little bit, had some sausages, and some margarita. Loo showed up later...didn't do slip n side. RUDE.
Mentioned I had made ice cream, and Alan and Nishy bolted off and pretty sure had a fight for it on who would get to finish it off. Love them
And then, I was really tired, so I headed out. It was so good to spend time with people from work, and some of my best friends on the planet.
My camera is still broken, but here are some Pics of the day:

Holly, Alan, and I soaking up the sun

Erin, Me, Alan, and Holly

The gang again.

Love them.

Anook!

Anook kept eating the water...she is fun

Deep in thought. Clearly

The water Slides!!



Loo and me!

My hair is a hot mess...

Hello Boobs.

Our shoes...= our personalities

Summer Sistas

The other birthday girl..but she was pouting

Mercedes Love

The Birthday Girl

Love her.